Vanilla Twilight
by DaturaAngelTrumpet
Summary: It pained her to know that she could sleep without his arms hugging her tightly, protecting her in the night. ((I do not own Pokespe, or this song from Owl City. And its my first time posting on ff so... I'm sorry I tried.))


_The stars lean down to kiss you_

_And I lie awake and miss you_

_Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere_

_'Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly_

_But I'll miss your arms around me_

_I'd send a postcard to you, dear_

_'Cause I wish you were here_

Sapphire sat at the edge of their secret base, staring into the night sky. The forest around the tree house emitted a slight greenish-glow, having a distinct scent that resembled nature immensely. Wild pokemon around them gathered around in groups, leaving patches of brown from the zigzagoons and whites of the pidgeys in random areas around the greens of the leaves. She chuckled, remembering his reaction when she started teaching the zigzagoons how to climb trees. His face was absolutely priceless. She giggled painfully, recalling his face again for the tenth time that hour. It was in the middle of the night, three in the morning to be exact. She should be asleep. Instead, she was mentally writing a letter to him. It was funny. She can't really write, or read, and yet people are amazed by how professional her scientific reports were. Then again, it was because he would always help her edit the work.

She slowly brought her hands from her sides, and hugged herself tightly with her eyes closed, imagining it to be his, wrapped gently around hers. Tear drops slowly dripped from her eyes as she hugged tighter. She missed how he cuddles her at night. It has been two weeks, and yet she could recall exactly how his warm and strong arms felt around hers. It pained her knowing that she could sleep without the feeling of his hugs holding her protectively through the night.

_I'll watch the night turn light blue_

_But it's not the same without you_

_Because it takes two to whisper quietly_

_The silence isn't so bad_

_'Till I look at my hands and feel sad_

_'Cause the spaces between my fingers_

_Are right where yours fit perfectly_

She slowly opened her eyes to view the night sky. The bright white sparkles really did look nice on the navy blue cloth, just as he always said. He even made a dress for her based off the night sky. "Ruby… did you know that I always wear the dress to any conference I must attend? Well, seeing how you were with me in the annual international professors talk held in Sinnoh, you probably should know. You did help me put it on!" She whispered, smiling. At least now she knew it was possible to smile and still look extremely sad. She watched the area around each of the stars, loving how the shade of blue there differed from the sky. It was much lighter. She stared at it as hard as she could, trying to imagine him beside her right now. It wasn't the same.

"Ruby is much happier now… isn't his happiness amazing?" She mumbled, feeling a little less upset. For fun, she decided to stick her hand out into the sky to see how much of the view she could block. It did made her a little less upset, until she noticed the spaces between her fingers, and felt even worse. She brought it closer to her face, remembering how his fine and smooth fingers intertwined with hers everywhere they went.

_I'll find repose in new ways_

_Though I haven't slept in two days_

_'Cause cold nostalgia chills me to the bone_

_But drenched in vanilla twilight_

_I'll sit on the front porch all night_

_Waist deep in thought because when_

_I think of you I don't feel so alone_

_I don't feel so alone_

_I don't feel so alone_

She closed back her eyes, hugging her hands tightly as she sobbed. She recalled the day when he left her. She felt upset, angry, hurt. She didn't know what she had done wrong. The only thing she could do was cry. She cried extremely harshly, to the point where her father and his father were convinced that the ninth dexholder will cry her eyes out. She couldn't eat, sleep, or live. Every time she wanted to take a bite of her favorite snack, she will wonder if it was because she ate too much and that she was too fat which made him leave. Every time she wanted to close her eyes and sleep, she will wonder if it was because she spent too much time asleep compared to spending time with him that caused him to leave. Every time she took a breath, she wondered if her existence was a nuisance to him.

She wiped tears from her eyes and placed her hands around her head, resting against it as she stared into the night sky. Taking a deep breath, she started imagining him beside her, ranting about why mareep's wool wasn't as soft as flaffy's, and hence caused his arms to itch every time he worked with it. It made her smile. It made her feel less alone.

_As many times as I blink_

_I'll think of you tonight_

_I'll think of you tonight_

She suddenly had a strange thought. Exactly how much has she thought about the boy so far? All she knew about it was that it was impossible to count the number of times she thought of him that night alone. There wasn't a big enough value to count it. Million, billion, trillion, they are all not big enough.

_When violet eyes get brighter_

_And heavy wings grow lighter_

_I'll taste the sky and feel alive again_

_And I'll forget the world that I knew_

_But I swear I won't forget you_

_Oh if my voice could reach back through the past_

_I'd whisper in your ear:_

_"Oh darling, I wish you were here"_

She walked into the base with tears streaming down her face. She could create a waterfall from how much she has cried since the day he left her. She stared at the decorations, realizing how none of them has changed ever since the day he moved into the base on his own. She laughed, realizing that he was actually never invited into the base. After the 80-day bet when she was 10, she went back to her base and found him setting down all the new decorations. She recalled how against it she was, but she rarely complained about it ever since that day.

She had a thought in her head. A thought that made her shiver, a thought that she was against. Her sanity and mind said no to it, but her heart and soul said yes. She walked to their special kitchen and took out a knife. His favorite actually. She never understood why he would have a favorite knife. Then again, she almost never paid attention to his speech which talked about the reason. Bringing it up to her neck, images of the day she found his body flashed across her mind. He had a rope around his neck with a beautiful and skillfully tied knot behind it. The rope was attached to the pillar above him. He hated that pillar. It looked disgusting in his beautiful room.

She inched the blade closer and closer to her neck, her hand quivering violently. He hated his father. That day, his father started screaming at him. Norman was really stressed out and really drunk, and really not in the mood to tolerate his endless speeches on why he was a bad father. Norman started screaming at his son, before finally saying something that may have caused it. "I wish a disgraceful and ugly son like you was never even born in the first place!" Ruby himself was feeling extremely depressed and equally drunk. Sapphire tried to contain the 18 year old and her boyfriend for 6 years, but he wouldn't have any of it, and stormed to his room. She understood that he needed time alone. She didn't expect him to do that horrendous thing.

She dropped the knife and knelt on the floor, crying her lungs out. She couldn't live without that coordinator. She just couldn't. Maybe if she stopped him from drinking that one more bottle of beer, maybe if she stayed with him when he insisted on being alone, maybe if she stopped him from giving Norman a surprised visit in the first place, he would still be alive.

"Ruby I love you! Why did you die…" she sobbed out, crying into her hands. Maybe if she turned back time and told Ruby that she supported his life choices, that she cared for him, he would still be around. Maybe if she reminded him that she loved him for who he was, he would still be around.


End file.
